The Black Adoption Project – creating better futures for Black adopted children in London

Inspirational Birth Mum Poem

7th March 2022 Blog

One birth Mum talks openly about the many ways that Family Rights Group has helped her, and others like her by encouraging and supporting them to find ways to tell their stories, and to use their voices to raise awareness.

Angela Frazer Wicks has a ten-year-old daughter who has no local authority involvement whatsoever and shortly before Christmas 2020 was reunited with her eldest son who is now an adult.


One of the ways in which Angela has found her voice is through poetry.

Arms full of presents, cards and wrapped toys. Beautiful gifts for my beautiful boys. Trying to squeeze the rest of our lives. Into 45 minutes and oh how it flies.

Hugs and kisses enough to last years. Singing songs and fighting back tears. Saying I love you over and over. Holding my babies closer and closer.

Breathing their smell and hearing their laughter. As they head off to their happily ever after. Carrying them to the car of a stranger.Smiling all the while feeling the traitor.

This is not what I want but I have to pretend. I have to smile like this isn’t the end. I have to give them one last happy memory. I want this to be the way they remember me.

I want them to leave without having to worry. About what’s left behind and what happened to mummy. Pretend there’s not a huge hole in my heart. Hide the fact that I’m falling apart.

Hoping I will find the strength to carry on. As I watch them drive away until they’re gone. Then I fall to the floor and my heart breaks in two. How do I move on from this I don’t have a clue?

But move on I must because I made them a promise. I have to find a way through this darkness. With tentative steps I make changes and find. That my past does not make my future defined.

I find strength bit by bit I find others who care. I begin to see that what happened wasn’t fair. I find ears that want to hear me and hearts to help me mend. They show me love compassion and kindness, they become a friend.

They show me that whatever happened I still have a choice. That I can use what has happened that I can still use my voice. That I don’t have to hide, to worry or feel ashamed. I can help other people I can bring about change.

And that’s what I’ve done with the grief and the pain. I’ve used my experiences to teach and to train. I’ve used my voice to speak for others to fight for those that suffer. I may not see my boys but I can still be their mother.

I can love with my fighting and teach with my actions. Our roots are the same we’re just different branches. They’re not out of mind they’re just out of sight. I won’t ever forget and I won’t stop the fight.

“If there is one thing I would like to take with you after hearing my story, it is the power of sharing. I never believed all those years ago that I would be standing here now talking to you all now, that I would be proud of what I have overcome and not ashamed of what I went through. Telling our stories breaks the stigma surrounding the issues so many of us are facing every day. We must speak out, show that we are not ashamed, that we are survivors. Our stories are our superpower.” by Birth Mum – Angela Frazer-Wicks.


Next: A mother’s story

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