Birth Family
For birth parents and family relatives your journey is often one that is challenging and sometimes unexpected. You may struggle to manage feelings, and decisions that are out of your control. This can have a huge impact on your life. Support and understanding is paramount and we want to help connect you to the advice available.
Watch: The Other Side of Adoption Birth parents’ experiences of care proceedings and contact
We understand that arriving here might feel difficult — and we want you to know you’re not alone. This film was created to reflect real experiences and offer understanding, compassion, and connection. It’s not here to tell you what to do or how to feel. Instead, it shares honest stories from birth parents who’ve walked a similar path — voices that speak from the heart about what it means to be a birth parent who has been through care proceedings, worked with social services, and experienced the loss of a child through adoption.
You might be wondering whether it’s worth watching. We believe it is. It’s gentle, thoughtful, and may help you feel seen and supported. It might even open up space to think about what contact could look like for you — if and when you’re ready. There’s no pressure. Just an invitation to take a moment, watch the film, reflect, and perhaps feel a little less alone.
Why should birth parents watch it?
- To feel seen and heard: The film validates the emotions and experiences of birth parents, offering comfort and solidarity.
- To hear real voices: It’s not scripted or polished — it’s honest, raw, and deeply human.
- To explore contact: If you’re wondering what contact could look like, this film opens up that conversation without pressure.
- To find connection: Whether you’re at the beginning of your journey or years down the line, this film reminds you that your story matters.
Contact the Adopt London Letterbox Teams
Adopt London operates Letterbox arrangements for indirect contact between adopted children and birth families where this has been agreed at the time the child was placed with an adoptive family, for the 24 individual London Boroughs who make up Adopt London.
The contact details for the Letterbox Coordinators in the following Adopt London Regional Adoption Agencies are as follows:
Adopt London North manages the letterbox for six local authorities; Barnet, Camden, Enfield, Hackney, Haringey and is hosted by Islington. Call: 020 7527 4777 or Email: [email protected]
Adopt London East manages the letterbox for four local authorities; Barking & Dagenham, Newham, Tower Hamlets and is hosted by Havering. Call: 01708 432589 or Email: [email protected]
Adopt London West manages the letterbox for four local authorities; Brent, Hammersmith & Fulham, Hounslow and is hosted by Ealing. Call: 07711 384 716/ 07710 114 749 or Email: [email protected] / j[email protected]
Adopt London South manages the letterbox for ten local authorities; Croydon, Greenwich, Kingston, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Richmond, Sutton, Wandsworth and Southwark. Email: [email protected] or call: 020 7525 1376
Advice and counselling for birth parents
Family Connect provide free advice and support for birth families affected by adoption and intermediary services for pre 1976 adoption and this is the relevant web page: Welcome to FamilyConnect – FamilyConnect
If you are a birth parent who is facing court proceedings and you are concerned that your child may be adopted, you are entitled to advice and counselling to help you through this very difficult time.
You can contact PAC-UK who offer a completely independent service called First Family, that can provide advice and counselling, or you can ask your child’s social worker to refer you to PAC-UK they will then make contact with you. You can call them on 07975 846 249 or email [email protected]
PAC-UK’s First Family Service has its own Action Line that can help:
- Give you information about adoption and let you know how other parents like yourself feel.
- Offer advice on where you may be able to get help with practical problems.
- Get the best from Letterbox arrangements that may be made for you to maintain contact with your child, including helping you to write a letter.
- Listen to your story and how you are feeling about your child, to help make sense of what has happened and help you to rebuild your life.
If your child was adopted in the past, you can still contact PAC-UK for advice and counselling. They understands the lifelong impact that adoption can have for birth parents.
The Family Rights Group
If your family is involved with children’s services, if you need help or advice about any aspect of the court proceedings, or if you wish to search for adoption support services in your area you might find the Family Rights Group helpful. It includes details of services offering advice, counselling, contact support, support groups and other forms of help. www.frg.org.uk/birth-families-map
They are a charity that works with parents whose children are in need, at risk or in the care system and with wider family who are raising children unable to remain at home. They also advise parents, grandparents, other relatives and friends about their rights and options when social workers or courts make decisions about their children‘s welfare. They campaign for families to get their voice heard, be treated fairly and get help early to prevent problems escalating.
Telephone freephone 0808 801 0366, go to their website www.frg.org.uk or contact them via Twitter and Facebook @FamilyRightsGp
For more information about birth parents’ rights, please look at the Government website under Child Adoption – Birth Parents: Your Rights .
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Read moreAdvice for expectant birth parents who are thinking about adoption
Many people may have doubts and worries about looking after babies. This is a natural feeling but for some people, they find that it can help them to talk their worries and their options through with someone. Some mothers may believe that they are not in a position to care for the baby they are carrying and may wish to talk about relinquishing their child, which means giving their child up for adoption voluntarily. If this is something you wish to just have a discussion about, or think through with someone, contact your local authority and ask to speak to a social worker about adoption.
You can get advice from a children’s social worker in your local authority who will refer you to Adopt London for counselling if you live in one of the 24 Adopt London Boroughs. You can also speak to PAC-UK for advice and information.
Do you want to speak to someone?
Let us help you to find the advice you need