The many benefits of volunteering
Written by David, an adopter and Chair of a London Scouts group.
The day we drove our adopted son home is a day I will never forget. A journey back from Swansea along the M4, singing along to a CD of nursery rhymes, added to our car collection just in time for this special journey.
The mountains we climbed to get to this point were sometimes daunting, but with perseverance, a sense of humour and good guidance, we got there.
Eight years later, and there hasn’t been a moment of regret. That little three year old is now 11 and life has been so rewarding – for all of us – just what we were looking for in our lives. A complete family.
Thinking back to an early part of the adoption journey, one of the gems of advice we were given on the adoption course was to volunteer alongside children, so things like cubs and brownies. I must admit, I was really quite terrified by the idea! This was a whole new experience. I had nephews and nieces, but not a large group of them!
The reasons given were that it’s a way to get to understand young children a little bit, perhaps even to help decide what age range of child/ren we would be interested in adopting. But also, importantly, it would look good on our ‘CV’ when it came to a panel reviewing our suitability as potential adopters. This is something that we were proudly able to flag at the adoption panel we attended, from which approval to proceed was granted. I think it says something about you if you’re prepared to volunteer your time. And this works in your favour when it comes to a line of strangers considering the paperwork about your suitability to adopt from across the table.
I was initially unsure what age group would suit me, or I would suit. I was pretty sure volunteering with the Brownies wasn’t right for me – that would be truly terrifying! But Beavers and Cubs might be good. Our social worker referred us to a local scout group, which has sections from ages 6-8 up to 14-18. As it happened, the Group Leader runs the Beavers section, the 6–8-year-olds, both boys and girls, and she suggested I come along one night to see what it’s all about. So I did. And I loved it! I was one of five adults, all volunteers, with a leader and a sub-leader organising, and the rest of us mucking in to help run team games and to give a helping hand when the Beavers split into four groups to make something Blue Peter-esque at a table.
This was fascinating. These little people chatted away happily about all sorts of things. I was happy to hear their stories. The kids love coming to Beavers. The joy of the children is incredibly infectious. 6–8-year-olds are delightful. Our leader demonstrated the art of balancing allowing them to be a bit boisterous with keeping control. Not easy, but she has been doing it for decades, so she’s got the measure of them!
Of course, volunteering with children allows you to practise some of the techniques learnt on the adoption course – setting boundaries, showing respect to earn it, being patient, calm, listening, talking – all things that are so important when the day comes that you have your own little person to look after.
As it happened, after we adopted our three-year-old son, I kept going with volunteering, because I was getting so much joy from it. And it feels good to do good!
Eventually our son joined the Beavers aged 6, so for two years I was there with him as he found his way. I tended to avoid his table so as not to cramp his style.
He moved up to cubs aged 8, at which point I took a back seat and became a drop-off and pick-up Dad. But not for long. Our Group leader had other ideas. The Chair of the trustee board was retiring and she thought I would make a great replacement. How could I say no!
So here I am, as the current Chair of 20th Chiswick Scouts, saying, if you wish to reach out to me to ask anything, please do. And better still, come and try volunteering here! You won’t be disappointed!