How to Create a Joyful and Autism-Friendly Christmas for Adopted Children
Celebrating Christmas with children who have autism or autistic traits can be a deeply meaningful experience, especially when families are able to make little adaptations to traditional festivities in order to meet their unique needs.
Here we have suggested some practical advice inspired by families who have navigated this journey successfully. These tips are especially helpful for adoptive families seeking to create a relaxing atmosphere during the festive holidays.
Understand and Respect Individual Preferences
Autistic individuals often find unfamiliar situations, sensory overload, or unanticipated changes overwhelming. Respecting their preferences minimises anxiety and helps them to feel safe and more relaxed. This will help them to engage in the celebrations, and therefore fosters a sense of belonging, which can reinforce the trust between child and caregivers. Allowing them to celebrate Christmas their own way, without pressure, also affirms their individuality and promotes their self-esteem.
Top advice would include:
• Avoid Surprise Gifts: Many autistic children find surprises stressful. Instead, involve them in gift selection or let them know what to expect ahead of time. This creates excitement without anxiety.
• Consider Sensory Sensitivities: Choose decorations, music, and activities that suit your child’s sensory preferences. For instance, avoid flashing lights or loud music if they find these overwhelming.
Planning and Maintaining Routines
During the Christmas season it is important for autistic individuals to maintain some predictability in their normal routine and daily activities. Routine provides the framework for understanding their day when normal schedules are disrupted by events, decorations, and gatherings. Consistency and routine help children to regulate their emotions and better cope with changes.
Top advice would include:
• Structured Activities: Use a visual Christmas calendar of events to outline their schedule such as meals, gift openings, or outings. This helps reduce the unpredictability of the season, and helps them to anticipate what’s happening next, lowering their anxiety and make transitions smoother.
• Stick to Familiar Routines: Keep daily routines like wake-up times or meal patterns, even on Christmas Day. Integrating traditions like decorating the tree or baking can be comforting when done at predictable times of usual activity. Partially preserving some consistent elements of their routine will enable autistic children to feel safer and in control.
Create a Comfortable Environment.
Children with autism benefit from having comforting items available over the Christmas period, such as familiar or calming objects like a favourite toy, weighted blanket, noise cancelling headphones or fidget toys; that will help to soothe their sensory sensitivities.
Top advice would include:
• Safe Spaces: Provide a quiet area during gatherings where children can retreat if they feel overstimulated. This should be a quiet and calming setting away from sensory triggers, such as loud noises, bright lights, and strong smells. Don’t forget to let them know that they can use the space whenever needed.
• Tailored Celebrations: Host smaller, quieter gatherings and avoid crowded events. Families have found success in alternatives like visiting less busy Christmas light displays or by hosting low-key meals. Avoid packing the day with too many activities, build in breaks so the child can step away if needed, schedule gift opening at quieter times and allow them to enjoy it at their own pace.
Involve Your Child
Involving your child in the Christmas planning is a great way to make them feel valued, included and more comfortable with the festivities. Let them help you to design the visual calendar outlining the activities planned, discuss the agenda with them, including the order and the timings, this will reduce the uncertainty and give them a sense of ownership over the plans.
Top advice would include:
• Collaborate: Let children pick decorations they like or arrange activities that they enjoy. This creates a sense of ownership and reduces stress caused by unexpected changes to their environment.
• Safe Foods: Include their favourite “safe” foods in the Christmas meal, alongside traditional options. Autistic children can rely on specific textures and tastes that provide comfort, so serve safe and familiar foods alongside traditional meals to prevent mealtime stress.
Be Flexible and Patient
These qualities help to create a holiday atmosphere and allow parents to adapt plans, respond calmly to changes and respect unique needs. Be prepared to modify the schedule to accommodate the children’s needs. React to any dysregulated emotions or behaviour with patience and understanding offering them reassurance rather than expressing frustration.
Understand that your role is to create a positive experience not a perfect one. This approach will reduce stress and build a foundation for meaningful traditions that everyone can enjoy.
Top advice would include:
• Respect Their Choices: Allow them to participate at their own pace. For example, if they prefer not to join every activity, support their decision without pressure.
• Adapt to Feedback: Over time, observe and adjust traditions to align with their comfort and happiness.
Focus on cultivating a relaxed atmosphere.
This allows your child extra time to move between activities, as transitions can be challenging for them, so leave gaps in the schedule to accommodate breaks to ensure your child doesn’t feel rushed. This will be more relaxing for everyone.
Finally consider involving all your family members in creating an autism friendly celebration, their support and understanding can ease the pressure on you and your child, and strengthen bonds. Celebrate in ways that bring joy to everyone, even if they differ from societal norms or family traditions. Other families have found that embracing their unique styles can create a more harmonious holiday season.
By following some of these tips and strategies, you will help to create a festive season that is cherished as a stress-free time for everyone involved.